Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I don’t talk about you very much. I’ve never really dwelled upon you in my blogs and journals. Every now and then you show interest in me, and I always feel it back. I’ve come to learn to not actually express the interest back, because every time I do, you seem to lose interest. It’s beyond me. It’s to the point that the last time you did show interest, I got fed up, put a firm foot down, and told myself, “No. Don’t even think about pursuing this, Kogo.”

I don’t enjoy the games you play.

I’d say you’re back to doing it again, I really would. Because it’s so obvious that you are. But I can’t lay the blame on you this time. I really can’t. Because this time… this time I started it.

My fault entirely.

I feel it though. I always do. No matter how many times I move on, and completely forget about ever being attracted to you (physically, emotionally, or any other way) I always am reminded when I open my mind’s eye again.

There’s just something about you that I can relate to, and that I feel comfortable around. I’m not scared of being rejected by you – perhaps because in your own way you’ve done it a few times, but always change your mind. I’m not certain what to make of all this, in all honesty.

When I was asked to compile a list of the things I look for in a mate, I thought about a few things and was shocked to realize you certainly fall under a lot of categories.

Just damn you. Damn you for being something I admire, no matter if you are unattainable.

But when I told you I was making a charm bag to attract a lover (as is what I am looking for), and you said, “Great. Tell me how it goes. Or maybe I’ll find out myself.”


Thanks for that.


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