Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Safety Net Musing

One person I used to know couldn't understand it, and another just laughs when I start spewing off random trivia. But truly, why do I do it? Because it's a safety net. And it may explain why sometimes I can stay focused on one for such a long time, and sometimes go through many at once. It's to keep me sane (well, I suppose that could be debated), and to keep my heart from being abandoned.

Yes, I am referring to my celebrity 'obsessions', if you will. I know I'm not the only person to do this, so even though I do know I'm weird, it's certainly not because of my fixations. Well, except, perhaps what I choose to fixate on.

But let me be ultimately clear. I am not truly fixating on the celebrity. I take that face, that body, that beauty and turn it into a spokes model for the things I truly want in a mate. True enough, I do study up on my favourite celebrities - I've read a dozen or so books on Kurt Cobain - but I think deep down I'm hoping to find those traits that I've focused on. And sometimes I do find them. Like in Ewan McGregor's case. But I certainly won't go into detail.

My safety net tends to vary, but I've found they all generally have something in common - loyalty to family. So I know I'm looking for something stable in a relationship. Someone dependable, and loyal, and who won't throw my heart in a grinder.

Safety Net

You are my safety net,
Safety net for my heart.
I know you will catch me
If I fall apart.

When the world
Comes knocking at my door,
I turn to you,
As you've saved me before.

When I look at you
I see perfection.
When I look in the mirror
I wish to see your reflection.

You stand for everything
I've come to know and love.
All my hopes and dreams
Fit you like a glove.

I know you're not real;
But to create you is a must.
For in a world like this one,
You're the only one I trust.


You still are that safety net. You don’t know me. And in all honesty it is your character that I am so fascinated with.

A man with a past, Chris Carter truly developed an amazing thing. An ex-marine, and ex-cop, you are now in the FBI, assigned to the most unlikely division for someone like you. You believe in the cold, hard facts, and you are one tough cookie. You are loyal to the point of blindness. You are not capable of believing in the paranormal. It just isn’t in you, and this has saved you. And you have a weakness. You have such a weakness. All good characters need that one vital spot that can send them to their knees in agony, and that vital spot for you is your son. The murder of your son ten years ago still weighs heavily upon your mind, and at times it can bring you to tears.

This character I am wildly in love with. Seriously. Nothing can compare to a man whose morals include loyalty to family, and a drive to find the truth.

But I have to admit to liking your looks, too.

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